Everyone has their own stories of things that stupid people do. Here are some of the things that bring to my mind the qualities that a stupid person possesses…

– When a piece of silverware is dropped and it makes a noise, some people stop what they’re doing to look at the person who dropped the thing that made the noise. Some of these retards give “a look” or they STARE, as if to say, “Don’t EVER do that again!” It was an accident that caused a brief sound! As if it ruined your entire day.

– People who mumble to themselves; I encounter this a lot on the moving job with new guys. For example, I’d tell them that we need a few dollies for some furniture in an office, and I can just barely hear them say, “Yeah, I’ll get a few dollies” before walking away. Is it some command they need to say aloud to themselves? Maybe it’s a habit, I don’t know, but don’t we make a conscious and deliberate effort to speak (not counting times of extreme emotionality)?

– I’ve encountered people (mainly on the moving job, but sometimes elsewhere in life as well) who say things out loud, not to anyone in particular, but they just say them. I’ve no idea why. Perhaps they’re clarifying something by saying it; they may not be sure of the information they have and if they say it out loud someone might correct them if they’re wrong; perhaps they simply want attention! I don’t know. If you have a question, ask; if you’ve got something meaningful to communicate, then by all means use your vocal chords; but if you’re saying something out loud that has absolutely no relevance to anyone but yourself, then why are you doing so? (Even if you don’t ask that of yourself, I guarantee you someone else will.)

–   People who repeat what’s said to them in a questioning manner, or say things like: “Oh really?”, “It is?”, “Are you sure?”. Why are we going around in circles with the same information? If they’re not sure what was said, they should ask for the person talking to them to repeat themselves.

– RUBBERNECKERS, especially those who slow down when going past a traffic accident! SPEED UP! Who CARES if there’s been an accident! Don’t stall traffic behind you! It’s already stalled because of the accident! Think of other people and get a damn move on! That’s one of the major reasons for stalled traffic: gawkers and rubberneckers. I love those idiots on the sidewalk who gather together to look, point and stare. I’d like to drop a wrecking ball from a construction crane right onto the lot of them. If YOU were the one in the accident, would you want every moronic retard slowing down to 5 km/h just to stare at YOUR bleeding face as you’re being put onto the stretcher?

– Women who fake showing “attitude” (faking it because they think they’ll be feared and respected by others). This mentality comes mainly from movies that portray some kind of “I’m better than you with my one-liners” style. Saying to someone, “It’s called [insert product name here], honey!” does NOT show off the “Don’t mess with me” attitude, nor does it make you cool; rather, it signifies to others that you have a false sense of entitlement. Real attitude comes from passionate confrontation, where you are arguing with someone whose point of view you think is entirely wrong, NOT from trying to intimidate people or belittle them because you THINK you’re better than them.

– The fool who spilled hot coffee in their lap while driving and then sued the company that sold them the coffee.

– Whoever came up with the phrase, “The customer is always right”. The customer is NOT always right. No customer can walk into a store and know more about that store’s policy, rules, regulations and code of conduct than the employees (unless the customer is an ex-employee who was “Employee of the month” for many consecutive months). Whoever created that phrase was either (A) a customer who was tired of being wrong time and time again, or (B) a marketing executive who wanted to attract more business by giving potential customers some false sense of power.

– People who push the crosswalk button more than once. Do you think the light is going to change any faster if you push the button over and over again? Do you have to press a key on a keyboard more than once to get that character to pop up on your computer screen? NO. Do you have to hit the steering wheel more than once to sound the car horn? NO. Do you have to press the ‘eject’ button on your DVD player more than once to eject the DVD? NO! So why do you have to press the crosswalk button more than once? The signal has been sent, and the light will change eventually.

– Those who use their car horns more than they absolutely have to. Car horns are useful to get attention, but what else? To indicate to the driver ahead of you that you should be driving FASTER? I would like to think that most of the time the people honking their horns are justified in doing so, but with what I have witnessed in the Vancouver area, I’d be sadly mistaken; after all, there are a lot of stupid and dangerous drivers out there. I have made quite a few stupid moves myself when driving the moving trucks, and people have rightfully honked at me for it. What I CANNOT understand is people who honk their horns at the driver ahead of them because the guy didn’t start moving INSTANTLY after the light turned green. I’ve seen this: one second in time passed when the traffic light turned green, and the driver at the front of the line didn’t move. After that one second, the guy behind him laid on his horn. I am not exaggerating. Why would he do that? I suppose my peeve is not car horns themselves, but the amount that people use them…and people who talk on cellphones when driving, and people who are in a hurry and drive recklessly, and people who cut others off without any care whatsoever. If you apologize for cutting someone off, then no big deal, but if you’re talking on a cellphone and you don’t signal and you cut someone off in the process, you’re an asshole.

– People who don’t wash their hands. I’ve seen a lot of this in men’s washrooms. Today, for example, in Costco I saw a guy walk out of a bathroom stall and exit the washroom, not stopping to wash his hands! I’m guessing that, because of the amount of time he was in that stall, whatever he was doing in there would absolutely require the washing of his hands afterwards (not to mention the amount of germs in the average bathroom stall). I’ve seen guys do the same thing after using a urinal. I’ve even seen guys who wash their hands BEFORE using a urinal or going into a bathroom stall! It’s true that your hands come in contact with more things than your crotch does, but you should still be washing your hands after handling your crotch! Back in the 1600’s and 1700’s, a lot more people died during or after surgeries because doctors didn’t wash their hands beforehand. The germs then spread to the insides of the bodies being operated on and killed the patients, and if it didn’t kill them it gave them horrible diseases. Washing your hands is essential; I don’t know what’s going through the minds of those who don’t agree.

We all have a few ‘stupid people’ stories, and you should always try and learn the lessons from both those stories and those people. Somewhere out there, there’s always going to be a stupid person who’s going to do something stupid, and when they do, you can be relieved at the fact that it wasn’t you and you can revel in the fact that you’ve just learned something. Always try and think before you do and/or say something (thanks Dad).

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