Random thoughts

I have problems comprehending some of the phrases that people use nowadays. Two examples are “Kinda sorta” and “More or less”. To me, these are ‘lazy phrases’ that people use when they don’t feel like explaining something. I’m not a person who sees the world only in “black and white”, because I realize there are shades of grey, but I don’t think either of the two aforementioned phrases constitute a shade of grey; in most cases, either something is or it isn’t.

Example: “Did Bob complete that test, Dave?” “Kinda sorta, Jim.” “What the hell do you mean, ‘kinda sorta’?” ‘Well, he completed it, yes, but he didn’t pass.” “So he DID complete the test. That’s exactly what I was fucking asking.” What the hell kind of answer is ‘kinda sorta’? Either he DID or he DIDN’T.

There are people who say, “I knew it all along” when a couple breaks up or something big happens. I suspect that they say those things to make themselves look good, to feel important, and/or to have people around them say, “Oooooooh” and “Aaaaaaaah.”

We’ve heard the phrase, “There’s no ‘I’ in team”, but there’s also no “O” in number, so why is the abbreviation for the word number “no.” instead of something more sensible… like “nu.”?

People are too overprotective of children these days. If there are so many things that can harm and/or kill children today, then how did the children of the past survive? Are the warning labels of today the results of the frivolous (read: downright silly) lawsuits of yesterday?

If you want to make a lot of enemies in a short period of time, publicly state your opinion.

Adam & Eve: If I remember the story correctly, a snake told Eve to eat the fruit on the tree, and for some reason Eve didn’t do it but Adam did. Did Eve tell Adam to eat the fruit? If so, what does that say about Adam? That he was weak-minded? Eve may have been trying to peer-pressure him into eating that fruit, but Adam could have simply smacked the bitch, told her to shut the fuck up and keep trimming the hedges. Could it be that Adam represents the majority of men at that point in time in that they were weak-minded and easily manipulated (either by women or outside forces)?

I wonder if spousal abuse went up drastically after Britney Spears’ “Hit me baby one more time” came out.

I know the act of returning a toilet seat to its lowered position after a man uses it is seen as a gentlemanly thing to do, but is it mandatory? I can remember seeing a cartoon about a woman who had sat on the toilet while the seat was still up, and I wondered how she could not have seen that the lid was up. Is there a single woman reading this right now who has gone to use the toilet WITHOUT checking to see if the lid was down? I have never in my life complained to a woman that the lid was down when I wanted it up; I merely lifted the lid. The lid weighs almost nothing and the action of lifting it takes one second.

I posted a piece of paper in the men’s bathroom of Gold’s Gym one day (overtop of some silly advertisement that was mounted directly above the urinals) that said: “Silicone and steroids have no place in a gym.” What is the purpose of either of those things besides making the human body look more appealing (to those who want to see such things)? Silicone and steroids are forms of cheating when it comes to improving one’s physical appearance. Steroids DEFINITELY have serious side effects, so it is a double-edged sword in that you look great on the outside but horrible inside. People who use/have those things shouldn’t be in a gym where others are training hard and doing it naturally in order to achieve a body like they’ve seen in magazines. What are the users of silicone and steroids telling us? In order to look good we’ve got to CHEAT? To those who have silicone implants and people who take steroids: quit being lazy. Go through the entire process of learning about your body, training, and nutrition; most importantly, do it naturally. Of course, my “note” was taken down that very day…

Why do we celebrate people’s lives and achievements after they’ve died? If you’re going to say nice things about someone, say those things to that person while they’re still alive. The words will have far more meaning to that particular person when they’re alive rather than when their corpse is lying in a box in front of a bunch of dressed up, weepy people. I understand the idea of “celebrating the memory” of the person who has passed, but why would you write out a eulogy for someone who can’t hear the words? Imagine how happy you could make that person if you sat them down (while they were still alive) and told them how great you thought they were. Think of how much it would honour them by telling them how much they mean to you. That way, you can see what effect your words have on them, and in return they might tell you how grateful they are to know a good person such as yourself, and you may give them one more happy memory and make the remainder of their life a bit more bearable for them.

Most (if not all) statistics are based on phone calls made to random people. For example, a company may do a phone survey to 250 people to find out how many of them like beef gravy. Then, after compiling the results, they’ll ‘produce’ a fact: “48% of Americans like beef gravy.” How many people live in the U.S. of A? 250 MILLION? How do those 250 Americans represent the vast majority of the population when it comes to beef gravy? Statistics change all the time and never include everyone because, if the surveys DID include everyone, it would take way too long to do and the results would be inaccurate anyway because too much time will have passed between the taking of the survey and the tallying of the answers. Statistics may be fun little tidbits, but don’t ever believe them.

Why were/are there laugh tracks in TV shows? Why do the producers (or the studio, or whoever came up with this silly idea) feel the need to INSERT recorded laughter? I ask the same thing with regards to hiring people and planting them in the crowd to intentionally laugh at a joke (that may not have been seen as being that funny when it was written or spoken in rehearsal) to get more of a reaction out of the crowd. That, to me, is unethical and deceptive. Apparently it’s done because laughter is contagious, and laughter is seen by many people as having a good time, so if you’re laughing simply because others are laughing and not because of how funny the joke was, then you’re being fooled. It’s a simple psychological trick but it is very effective.

Why do some women walk around wearing really tight clothing, showing it all off, and then complain that guys are being perverts for checking them out? If you’re baring ANY skin, guys are going to look. You can’t complain and you have no right to complain if they’re staring at your cleavage, simply because you are INTENTIONALLY exposing it in the first place. If you don’t want them to look, cover up. I also don’t understand why some women (who are married, engaged or just have boyfriends) feel the need to wear revealing clothing when they’re going out (either with girlfriends or their spouse). I can understand wanting to look good (that silly “If you’ve got it, flaunt it” mentality), but why are you advertising? You’ve already got someone! You displayed your products, a customer came in, made the purchase, and now you’re off the shelf.

The last time I got a haircut, the guy doing the job was trying to sell me on the old “the hair makes the man” line. It unnerved me that he was tossing in a silly sales pitch when business was currently being conducted. A man’s hair should have very little (if anything) to do with how he attracts the opposite sex. I think that it’s not the hair that makes the man, but the MAN that makes the man. Any woman that is attracted because of a hairstyle is a woman who’s more concerned with fashion than anything that’s of real importance in life.

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